Don't Fall for the BS: Decoding Vanity Metrics in Restaurant Tech

If you think you’re “winning” because your company has more LinkedIn followers than your competitors, you might be a little delusional. And I say that with no disrespect. Delusion happens to everyone, and it's incredibly tempting to believe things are looking good because certain metrics say they are.

In the restaurant technology space, where ROI matters and sales cycles are long, there’s no room for marketing fluff. Yet too often, vendors tout social follower counts, website pageviews, or podcast impressions as evidence of traction — when in reality, these are just vanity metrics.

What Are Vanity Metrics?

vanity metrics vs actionable metrics (1) Vanity metrics are data points that look good but don’t drive revenue, retention, or meaningful engagement. These include:

Follower counts (LinkedIn, Instagram, etc.)
Impressions and reach without engagement
Pageviews with high bounce rates
Email open rates with no clicks or replies
Podcast downloads with no lead capture or funnel tie-in

They’re easy to measure. Easy to brag about. And easy to get wrong. But they DO feel good!! ;-)

Why Inexperienced Marketers Lean Into Vanity

In restaurant tech — especially startups — marketers often feel pressure to show momentum. But lacking a strong demand gen foundation, they default to surface-level metrics that don’t translate to business value.

And when founders or sales leaders don’t understand the difference, it creates a dangerous loop of “More likes = better marketing.” But here's what you should do so you don't fall into the trap...

What You Should Ask Instead:

Are we generating sales-qualified opportunities from our content?
Are restaurant operators engaging, asking for demos, or booking calls?
Are target accounts showing up in our CRM and ABM tools?

What Actually Matters in Restaurant Tech Marketing

To win in this space, your marketing efforts should drive outcomes tied directly to sales, customer success, and partner traction. Here’s what Popcorn GTM clients track:

Actionable Metrics:

Engagement from target accounts (especially brand decision-makers and franchisees)
Pipeline velocity: Time from lead to close
Conversion rates at each stage of the buyer journey
Marketing-attributed revenue
Demo requests and meeting volume from specific campaigns

Let’s Be Honest — Even Podcasts Can Be Vanity Plays

We produce and host the Morning Sam, Morning Ralph podcast for this exact reason: to cut through the noise and showcase voices that matter. But even with 10K+ downloads, we don’t claim success unless it results in meaningful conversations — qualified leads, industry relationships, or pipeline movement.

A Word of Caution: Not Everything That Matters Can Be Measured

In restaurant technology, we love dashboards. KPIs. Scorecards. Attribution models.

But here’s the truth most marketers won’t tell you:

Not everything worth doing can be measured perfectly.

Some of the most important parts of marketing — like building trust, creating brand affinity, and becoming the go-to name inside a buying committee —don’t show up neatly in a report.

If you over-obsess on metrics, two bad things happen:

You stop taking smart risks.

If every action needs a provable ROI before it’s launched, you’ll kill your creativity and miss category-defining opportunities.
You paralyze your brand.

Waiting for perfect attribution or perfect proof will slow you down — especially in a restaurant tech market where attention spans are short and buyer interest is fragile. Plus I will guarantee you, if you are looking for complete measurement, you will lose good people.

👉 Metrics are important for guiding decisions, spotting trends, and optimizing campaigns.

👉 Metrics are NOT a replacement for judgment, intuition, or brand building.

You must balance measurable marketing with moves that grow your reputation, community, and influence over time — even if the first few steps don’t show an immediate spike in your CRM.

Final Thoughts: Build for Substance, Not Applause

In an industry as competitive as restaurant tech, where operators are overwhelmed and (rightly) skeptical, you don’t get a second chance with fluff and cartoon videos. At Popcorn, we help vendors stop chasing empty metrics and start building trust, clarity, and conversion.

If your team is bragging about likes instead of booked demos, it’s time to revisit your strategy.

Want Help Fixing This?

Let’s eliminate the noise. Book a call with me and get a brand and metrics strategy that aligns with real growth, not fake buzz.

- Paul

Don't Fall for the BS: Decoding Vanity Metrics in Restaurant Tech

What Are Vanity Metrics?